


you're the pain and the medicine [one taste and i'm numb again]

by leothequeenn



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Basically Ethan wants to leave and Luke wants him to stay, M/M, Or whenever Luke was still able to fight against Kronos, set during maybe BotL?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-27 00:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5027371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leothequeenn/pseuds/leothequeenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Lord I try and I can't say no.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're the pain and the medicine [one taste and i'm numb again]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sincerelyhecate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerelyhecate/gifts).



> based off the song "Save My Soul" by Jojo.
> 
> ✿for sincerelyhecate and all my lukethan buddies who didn't ask for angst but i gave them angst anyway.✿  
> _  
> also isnt luke like 9 years older than ethan or am i just imagining that. like i think it's actually 9 years older than him since luke is already 7 years older than annabeth

The first time that week Ethan had tried to ask to leave, he was immediately shot down. He didn't get the response he wanted at all, but that was fine, because he and Luke (or Kronos, didn't matter, just depended who it was whenever he asked) knew he was going to ask. But, just like the mysterious side of him was, he wasn't blunt in his question. He may be blunt in the responses he gave to Luke, but with Kronos he was submissive. Either way, he always asked the same question at the beginning and whoever it was, he would continue or not continue because Ethan had no problem standing up to that stupid blond.

“You got what you wanted, didn’t you?”

Ethan’s voice was quiet but stern, bitter like the coffee he had that morning and the blond couldn’t even face him, and he figured it was just because Luke was used to this question. Though, Ethan could tell that he wasn’t even listening, probably only half-listening if anything, and it drove him crazy because couldn’t he see that he just wanted to leave? Couldn’t Luke see that he just wanted to be alone while the blond figured out his own shit with the Titan god, because he was tired of being dragged along with him and his crazy schemes.

He’ll figure out his own legacy without him.

“Do you wish to speak down to me again, or would you rather I just kill you now, little demigod?”

That clearly was not Luke and Ethan knew that, and so it was pointless to try and be coy today. Ethan bit back a retort and shook his head, subservient to Lord Kronos’s question and the black-haired boy took a breath in, answered back quietly, “I didn’t think that I was talking to you, Lord Kronos, my apologies,” and exhaled, turning and spinning on his heels without another word from the Titan.

 

* * *

 

 

The second time that week Ethan tried to talk to Luke -- not Kronos, but _Luke --_ he was somewhat successful and again, he asked him the same question and he expected Kronos to answer, but it was Luke -- Luke’s voice, Luke’s icy blue eyes -- and immediately he felt a little safer, but his gut was still twisted up inside of him, his heart still racing.

“What do you mean? We haven’t won yet, Ethan, but I promise we will.” Luke sounded like he was in that trance again, and it was hard getting to him but Ethan figured he’d just try. "And then you can go wherever you want," Luke continued and Ethan almost wanted to interrupt him because _he didn't mean it like that_ but Luke just kept going. "Though, I wish you'd stay with me instead."

“I don’t want to win like this,” he said harshly, because he knew Luke was going to get angry and so he might as well begin being rough to avoid getting scared, but the blond said nothing, did nothing and _that_ scared him the most. He decided that if he was quieter, it would urge the blond to speak, to yell at him just so he could fucking finally say what he wanted. “I just need to leave, I need to go somewhere else because I… I can’t deal with you anymore,” he said quietly, appearing subservient just so it would play with the blond's head. 

Ethan felt like he was being suffocated as Luke stepped forward, and the boy in the eyepatch had to make sure the blond’s eyes hadn’t gone to gold because if they had, he’d be screwed. But he wondered why Kronos wasn’t coming out, wasn’t appearing and making his ugliness shine through Luke. Luke was still Luke and it pissed him off. “Ethan, listen to yourself, you're completely forgetting who's the bad guy… What changed? Was it Silena? I could get rid of her, if you want.”

“You don’t know me, how could you say that? And no, nothing’s changed, nothing's wrong with Silena, leave her out of this. I’m just sick and tired of you saying you love me and having that beast inside of you come out and I’m tired of him making you hate me. You _say_ one thing but then you completely mean another thing. I’m tired of it. I don’t want to do this anymore.” If he kept talking, he knew that Kronos was going to come out and cut off his tongue, but he couldn’t help it. He just wish Luke would exile him or something,  _something_ to get him to leave.

Luke’s hands suddenly were on his shoulders, then his arms, and then his waist and Ethan can’t just let him do that but with the blond’s hands on his hips, his breath on his lips, he just gave in and he let Luke kiss him, let him kiss him and hold him until he knew they’d have to part. He let him do whatever he so pleased and Ethan hated himself for it.

 

* * *

 

 

The third time Ethan tried to leave, tried to explain himself to Luke, he was almost successful and the black-haired boy wanted to kick himself for being so close to freedom and ruining it a second afterward.

In order to throw him off, instead of the question that Luke was so used to, Ethan started off with, “You knew that whenever you started, I’d lose, right?”

Luke looked up from his desk, a confused look on his face and Ethan was successful in throwing him off of his game, but that seemed to go away as Luke realized what the Hades he was talking about. Almost immediately, Luke sent the monsters that were beside him away to go keep Prometheus busy, and kept his eyes on the boy in the eyepatch as Ethan stepped closer to his desk.

He wanted to stay away, wanted to run, but he just couldn’t and he wanted Luke to know that it was _his fault_ he felt this way before he could finally make his escape.

He wanted to help the demigods that were shoved off to the side, really, he did, and he thought he was making a good decision siding with the bad Titans because of how much he was pissed off, thinking that would make him win. But he didn’t want to deal with Luke or Lord Kronos like this and so he had to go away. He had to leave. He fought for his honor (and lost to Jackson, but whatever) and he had made his way in, up to the top, resurrected Kronos even and now he just had to go.

He had to include in his explanation to the blond that he wasn’t leaving to go to the other side, but rather to leave to go on his own side. He didn’t know how well that would go out, but at the moment he didn’t care and he wasn’t going to lose to Luke once more. He just wished he knew how to truly hate Luke so that it wouldn’t be as bad as it would be leaving.

“Again, with this?” Luke asked, his voice was tired and Ethan didn’t have any sympathy for him, was too tired of having sympathy for him and Gods, he wished he _hated_ him, truly wanted to feel like he actually hated him because it would be so much easier. Luke knew Ethan wanted to hate him too, but because he truly couldn't Luke was still able to keep him in his own little square on the board of the game Kronos was playing. “Just think rationally about this. You’d be making yourself lose if you leave, you'd get yourself killed. I haven’t made you lose, you're making a bad decision.”

"And you're whining and making excuses," Ethan growled, crossing his arms tightly across his chest. There was a bitter laugh from the smaller boy, and he was able to continue while Luke was making yet another excuse, “you knew I’d lose this and everything I’ve wanted because that’s how you are, and that’s how you’ll continue to be, because you don’t care about anything else. Let me go, let me leave, and I’ll make sure to come back to overthrow your ego.”

Ethan set his jaw, watching the blond as he stood up and came up to him, and Gods, he wanted to leave, wanted to get out of there because he really did not know what Luke would do. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe, couldn't speak or couldn't stop watching him, but that was exactly what Luke wanted and with one smoldering look, Luke leaned in and pressed a kiss to his jaw before mumbling out in his ear, “please stay with me. That way I'm sure you'll live.”

Ethan wanted to fight, his internal instinct saying to fight instead of just stay there, frozen, but Kronos was not there at the moment, it was just Luke and him, and everything around them wasn’t there, wasn’t real, and they were back to being crowded at that stupid camp and it seemed okay for once.

It seemed okay being cramped in that cabin because he was with Luke and there was a kiss, another kiss, many kisses pressed up against his lips and he couldn’t tell if that was in present time or if he was reliving that fucking memory of whenever Ethan decided to go with the blond, to be with him until the end of the world just for fucking revenge against the Gods and the way the minor gods were treated.

Either way, Ethan’s hands shook and his knees were weak and he leaned against the tall blond, letting him take over because he was so close to leaving but he just threw that opportunity out the window because he _couldn’t leave_ , no matter how much he wanted to.

Luke’s lips were warm against his, his hands cold on Ethan’s hips and he just let him take over, because as long as Lord Kronos wasn’t around, he was melting into his fingertips whenever he touched him, and it wasn’t fucking fair but that didn’t matter.

That never mattered to the blond.

Luke lived his whole life being unfair and having things being unfair and Ethan lost his _fucking eye_ to make sure that had never happened to anyone else, to make sure that nothing was extremely unfair to anyone but Luke was just unfair and Ethan knew that. Ethan knew that and he loved it and that was why he had to leave because he couldn’t be around him anymore, but obviously he couldn’t because Luke was etched into him like stone and he kept coming back to him.

That was why he kept asking the blond to leave instead of just leaving. He wasn’t scared of the consequences from Lord Kronos; no matter how painful they would be, they wouldn’t even compare to leaving Luke and never seeing him again.

And when Ethan woke in the morning with Luke’s arms around him so tight, he decided he couldn’t even save his own soul and be without Luke. So instead of fighting, instead of getting out of the bed, he snuggled back into the covers and hid his bad eye in the pillow so that whenever the blond woke, he wouldn’t have to see that ugliness that meant nothing now that Ethan finally decided he’d be by Luke’s side, even if Luke wouldn’t be Luke anymore soon.

That didn’t mean that he wouldn’t try to leave as soon as Luke was completely gone, because there would be no point in staying if he was just staying for Luke, but he just wished he would’ve been able to leave before that happened. There was a bit of rustling that came from the blond’s side of his bed, and Ethan opened his eye, and quietly he muttered out, “you got what you wanted, didn’t you?” and there was a smile that came from the blond.

"Yes, I did."

 _Lord I try and I can’t say no_.

**Author's Note:**

> don't you ever just read up on ethan's wiki page and feel sad because it literally mentions everything about him and how he defied against kronos at the last moment and then d i e d (╯◕_◕)╯


End file.
